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Feudalism:
You have two cows. Your host takes some of the milk.
Socialism:
You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbor.
Communism:
You have 2 cows. The state takes both cows and gives you some milk.
Totalitarianism:
You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you into the army.
Dictatorship:
You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you. Milk is banned.
Classic capitalism:
You have 2 cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd is multiplying and the economy is growing.
You sell the herd and use the proceeds to retire.
American capitalism:
You have 2 cows.
You sell one and force the other to quadruple milk production. Later, you hire a consultant to find out what caused the cow to die.
Capitalism in French:
You have 2 cows.
You go on strike, organize riots and block roads because you want three cows.
Capitalism in Italian:
You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. And you decide to go out to dinner.
Capitalism in Spanish:
You had two bulls, but you staged a bullfight, killed both, then spat on everything, because the siesta began.
Capitalism according to Soros:
You have two cows. You are selling three cows to a subsidiary in Korea using a loan from a Brussels bank in the name of your mother-in-law. Then you buy four cows with the help of an American intermediary who draws up a donation in your name so that you do not pay taxes on five cows. Euro subsidies that you receive for the milk of six cows, you invest in a Korean subsidiary; in the annual report you write that you have eight cows, and when during the audit it turns out that you don’t understand anything about cows, shrug and swear that you can’t understand why your stall is empty!
Swiss capitalism:
You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you, but you milk them, and even take money from the owners for their storage.
Indian capitalism:
You have 2 cows. And you pray for them.
Capitalism in English:
You have 2 cows. And both are mad.
Iraqi capitalism:
Everyone thinks you have a lot of cows. You tell them that you have nothing. Nobody believes you, and as a result you are bombed and then your country is occupied. You still don't have cows, but at least you are part of Democracy now.
Capitalism in Pakistan:
You never had cows, but you sincerely consider Indian cows to be yours.
New Zealand capitalism:
You have two cows. The one on the left is pretty sexy.
Australian capitalism :
You have two cows.
Things are going well. You close the office and head out to celebrate with a few beers.
Surrealism:
You have two giraffes. The state takes them away and requires you to take accordion lessons.