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How many of us are those who dream of a beautiful life, prosperity, a successful career? Majority. And how many of those who turn their dreams into reality? Units. The rest prefer to live out of habit and be content with little. But why is this happening?
I, the author of Milayaya.ru , want to share my story of vegetating and try to find out why most of us are mired in a routine, but refuse to change anything.
I have always been convinced that success awaits us only in the work we love. Therefore, she herself chose a specialty at the university and after graduation she got a job in a large local company. At first it was interesting, new tasks were perceived by me as a challenge and made me work with redoubled vigor. But after a couple of years, I suddenly felt that the work no longer brings me pleasure.
The days began to seem the same and very long, fatigue quickly set in. I didn’t know what to do with it, I worried for a long time and in the end plunged into a real depression. I had to leave a job I didn’t like and look for a job I liked for a long time in order to get out of this state. When I realized how much the routine can change our lives, I wondered why so many people suffer but do not try to get rid of it.
Fear of the unknown
The unknown scares us and forces us to stay in our familiar place. We are afraid that nothing will work out without even trying to do something. Suddenly something goes wrong? We are waiting for better times and appropriate circumstances, although we know that they are unlikely to come.
I was afraid to leave the usual place, familiar to me for 5 years, and try something else. Several times I put off leaving my old job, promised to give myself time, tried to ignore fatigue and other accumulated problems. I vigorously proposed some development plans to the management, hoping that new tasks would rekindle my interest. It didn't get better. I could no longer get along with the routine, but I was also afraid to start from scratch.
Habits and stereotypes of society
When parents tell us from childhood “keep your head down”, “be like everyone else”, “you can’t jump above your head”, we don’t even try to become better than someone. And often we live on knurled, considering this the norm. The habit of being content with little helps us to survive, and the words “everyone does this” serve as a reassurance. Because if everyone is like that, then it is correct.
When I was torn between stability and the desire to quit, my mother always tried to console me. She very often said with sadness in her voice: “Today everyone has to live like this - go to an unloved job and meet the same days. The time is now." Her words often swirled in my head, evoking a sense of hopelessness. They did not reassure, but made me think.
Mom herself worked all her life with educational methods, although she dreamed of being a simple kindergarten teacher. The same hard times and the burden of responsibility for the family forced her to devote almost 40 years to an unloved business and endure terrible bosses. Even when the post-perestroika time was over, and the children became adults, she did not dare to change anything.
Many similar patterns of behavior are passed down from generation to generation. We know that we have to graduate from high school, find a stable job (preferably one for life), start a family, get into a mortgage, have children, and so on. Any deviation from the plan is considered abnormal and condemned. But what about someone who does not want to suffer in an uninteresting job and take out a loan to throw a magnificent wedding?
Laziness
It cannot be said that we are all active and active by nature. It is worth relaxing a little, and the desire to go with the flow arises by itself. We begin to postpone life until later, postpone important actions and meetings. Give up sweets? Better Monday. Sign up for a gym? Only since the beginning of the month. View new vacancies? Perhaps tomorrow or the day after. It is easier for us to observe the beautiful and successful. What these people had to sacrifice and how much effort to make, we will not know, but we will be happy to discuss them with friends.
As a student, I had a friend Valya, whose abilities bordered on genius. Even then, he knew 5 foreign languages, had good experience in journalism, was fond of design and learned to play the piano. Valya was interested in everything that was possible, and in everything he was successful. Many were surprised at his talents and asked what the secret was. And there weren't any secrets. Valya simply did not allow himself to be lazy. He constantly came up with new activities and fueled interest in the old ones. I still cannot boast of the same zeal.
Routine creates visible stability
Not everyone dreams of an interesting job or something like that. There are those who prefer, as they say, a paradise in a hut and do not seek to conquer impregnable peaks. Therefore, what may seem like a routine to one, for another it will be a calm and measured life, in which there is comfort and stability.
One day, over tea, I shared with colleagues my feelings about the loss of interest in work. She said that she stopped inspiring me and, it seems, I don’t like her at all. Then the senior colleague Maxim looked at me intently, stirred the tea in an unwashed cup with a spoon and said: “You shouldn’t like work, it should bring money.”
This philosophy did not fit into my idea of a good job. But it was also difficult to argue with a colleague who was pleased with his (exactly the same as mine) work. If only because everyone has their own views on life.
Routine causes fatigue and unwillingness to change something
High loads and constant experiences cause stress, take away strength and make it impossible to act. Deciding to change is difficult when you and your body are exhausted by fatigue. And by ignoring the problems that worry us for a long time, we drive ourselves into a corner more and more.
For a long time I did not want to recognize the depression that happened to me and perceived it as something temporary. I expected that dissatisfaction with myself, loss of appetite and fatigue would pass. Like I was supposed to wake up one day and feel like the problems solved themselves. But, of course, nothing of the sort happened. Internal tension only grew, but there was no strength to change something and there was no understanding of what exactly needed to be changed.
Routine can be imposed from above
“Initiative is punishable” is a phrase that perfectly captures the attitude of most people towards work. A stable salary and the absence of incentive systems completely discourage the desire to try harder and do better work. The principle “if only they don’t touch me” becomes the norm of existence, and routine becomes the norm of work processes.
The finishing touch to this picture is that even managers often prefer routine to action and do not seek to develop already worked out processes.
My experience in this matter has been quite revealing. As soon as at least something interesting appeared among the tasks, the working days became much richer and the routine receded. In the last months before my dismissal, I myself tried to diversify my work, showed activity, offered something new. But it didn't take long for me. When I realized that no one supports such enthusiasm, I chose to find another place for myself.
What I got by escaping from the routine
After I left the warm and familiar office space, a lot has changed. I had to learn to organize my time clearly, put in more effort to earn good money, not sit back and wait for a paycheck. Now I don’t have that visible stability that office work created, and all income directly depends on the work done.
I feel much better: my brain does not turn sour from monotonous activity, and my body does not ache from constant sitting at the computer. I enjoy doing business, and at the end of the day I hurry to meet with my family. Now work brings me pleasure, not a headache.
Maybe you have the same problems as I had, and you feel like work is pulling the juice out of you? Think about it: maybe it's time to change something and start acting today?
Do you think it is necessary to fight the routine, or is it still better to live side by side with it, but in stability and imaginary comfort?