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There are different situations in life ... when a husband can sue his wife because of ugly children, or there is love that lasts a lifetime. To be happy, you must choose people with whom you have the same values. We offer you a psychologist's reflections on why it is necessary to choose people of their own level of values!
Some time ago, I thought that a person can be anything: even a boor, even a thief, even a deceiver. Apparently, this is how it happened in his family, this is how his parents raised him, or he himself was destined to be just that.
Now I understand that I want to see completely different people around me. People who value dignity, honor, word, conscience.
Women rarely think about these categories. Perhaps the reason for this is the constant domestic employment. For some reason, it is generally accepted that a woman should work only on those features that are directly related to femininity. The listed categories are not included.
And this is a delusion. Because…
any relationship can be long-term and of high quality only in one case: if the values of people coincide.
I fear and avoid men who cannot explain what dignity and keeping one's word mean to him. If for him conscience is defined by the phrase “I try not to lie, I’ll just keep silent at most,” then we are not on the same path with him. Conscience is something more. It is sad if a person cannot independently determine moral categories for himself, control himself and evaluate his own actions.
Psychology can explain any human behavior. This is a very convenient science in order to find an excuse for yourself. A person has numerous sexual contacts, manipulates, avoids responsibility. So he is a child who was not loved, he has an attachment disorder due to a traumatic relationship with his mother, and much more.
But if you have matured, educate yourself! Build yourself! Look for yourself! You can always find an excuse for the pain that you cause other people, but more often than not you see what you are doing, at least you understand by the response. If you have a healthy brain (without organic lesions from childhood), you should be able to analyze. Even if an unknown force pushes you to steal or use the body of another person for one time, you are able to understand, see, feel that you are doing something bad to another. And you see! But you prefer to shove these doubts into the far corner of your mind and justify yourself.
If a person is ruled by low-order values: money at any cost, pleasure at any cost, self-indulgence, he turns into a dirty, low-level creature.
In psychological terms, the animal "It" takes over the "I" in the complete absence of the "Super-I". The "I" realizes and satisfies the unconscious desires and needs of the "It" with the help of the norms and laws of the "Super-I". The presence of all three components of "It", "I" and "Super-I" in the human psyche makes him a complete, mature personality. Otherwise, it turns out a surrogate, an unfinished person with whom it is impossible to build anything complete.
Neither the mind, nor the intellect, nor education in themselves determine the values of a high order. These values are formed from inner purity and fullness, from tireless work on oneself. They make a person not just a living being, but a Man. Only high-order values: dignity, respect, self-respect, willpower and fortitude, conscience set high vibrations of the soul and make a person pure and bright.
Such people cannot live, be friends, work with dirty characters. They will never be understood. They will inevitably seek to suppress and destroy. The unconscious is many times more powerful and stronger than the superconscious.
Choose people of your value level.
We hope that the article was useful to you.