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I often see people whose lives are riddled with suffering and full of pessimism. They complain about fate, family, work, society and the state. They do not see the light at the end of the tunnel and believe that someone else is to blame for their plight. Even I, a person who is far from the most cheerful disposition, next to them seems like a model of an energetic joker. So sometimes, when they ask me what needs to be done to change everything, I think for a while and give them a couple of tips.
Without claiming to be great achievements in the field of personal growth, in today's post I have collected all such things that I have ever heard, applied or advised. All of them are tested on my own experience, and I will be glad if it will be useful to someone.
1. Understand what you really like.
This is the most important and the most difficult. There will be a separate big conversation about this, but the golden rule says - do what gives you real pleasure, and then you will become much happier. What's more, having a cause that really fires you up is a key attraction factor for the opposite sex. But one must be prepared for the fact that the search for one's path is a marathon that can last for many (dozens?) years.
2. Give up the garbage that you eat, drink and smoke every day.
No secrets and cunning diets - just natural food, fruits, vegetables, water. You don't have to go vegan and stop drinking completely, just limit sugar, flour, coffee, alcohol, and all plastic food as much as possible.
3. Learn foreign languages.
This will unrealistically expand the depth of perception of the world and open up unprecedented opportunities for learning, development and career growth. There are 60 million Russian-speaking Internet users. English speakers - a billion. The center of progress is now on the other side of the border, including the language one. Knowledge of English is no longer just a whim of intellectuals, but a vital necessity. Books, movies, audio courses, news, interface on your phone - just immerse yourself in the language with your head, and progress will go very quickly.
4. Read books.
An approximate circle is your professional field, history, natural science, personal growth, sociology, psychology, biographies of great people, high-quality fiction. No time to read because you drive - listen to audiobooks. The golden rule is to read/listen to at least one book a week. That's 50 books a year that will change your life.
5. Make the most of every weekend.
Go to a museum, an exhibition, go in for sports, go out of town, skydive, visit relatives, go to a good movie. Expand your contact area with the world. When you have already traveled around and around everything, take your friends with you and tell them what you know. The main thing is not to sit still. The more impressions you let through yourself, the more interesting life will be, and the better you will understand things and phenomena.
6. Fix your thoughts.
You can start a blog, or you can just write “on the table”. No matter what. It does not matter that you do not have eloquence - the main thing is that in this way you can think and reason.
7. Set goals.
Write them down on paper, in Word or a blog. The main thing is that they be clear, understandable and measurable. If you set a goal, you can either achieve it or not. If you do not put, then there are no options for achieving at all.
8. Learn to type on the keyboard blindly.
- not being able to do this in the 21st century is the same as not being able to write with a pen in the 20th. Time is one of the few treasures you have, and you should be able to type almost as fast as you can think. And you should not think about where the desired letter is, but about what you write.
9. Ride time.
Learn to manage your affairs so that they work almost without your participation. Make decisions quickly, act immediately, do not postpone "for later." All things either do or delegate to someone. Try not to let the ball linger in your side. Write down on the sheet all the "long-playing" things that have not yet been done and prevent you from living. Rethink whether you need them (remembering point 1). Do what is left for a few days, and you will feel incredible lightness.
10. Give up computer games and stupid Internet surfing.
Minimize sitting in social networks (up to optimization - leave only one active account). Forget about TV, except for popular science programs. Get in the habit of only checking email at certain times.
11. Limit reading nonsense news.
All the same, everyone around will talk about key events, and additional noise information does not lead to an improvement in the quality of decision-making.
12. Learn to get up early.
The paradox is that in the early hours you always have more time than in the evening. If you leave Moscow at 7 am on weekends in the summer, then by 10 am you will already be in Yaroslavl. If you leave at 10, you will be there in the best case for dinner. The same goes for weekend shopping. A person needs 7 hours of sleep, subject to high-quality physical activity and normal nutrition.
13. Try to surround yourself with decent, honest, open-minded, smart and successful people.
We are our environment from which we learn everything we know. Spend more time with people you respect and learn from (it's especially important that your bosses fall into that category). Accordingly, try to minimize communication with people who are negative, dull, pessimistic and angry. In order to get taller, you have to strive upwards, and having people nearby that you want to grow up to will be a great incentive in itself.
14. Use every moment of time and every person to learn something new.
If life brings you together with a professional in any field, try to understand what is the essence of his work, what are his motivations and goals. Learn to ask the right questions - even a taxi driver can be an invaluable source of information.
15. Start traveling.
It doesn't matter that there is no money for Argentina and New Zealand - the quality of rest has nothing to do with the money spent, and my best trips were to regions that are not at all distinguished by pathos and high cost. When you see how diverse the world is, you will stop obsessing over the small space around you and become more tolerant, calmer and wiser.
16. Buy a camera / easel / ballroom slippers.
Try to capture the beauty of the world. When you succeed, you will remember your travels not only by vague impressions, but also by beautiful photographs that you brought with you. Alternatively, try drawing, singing, dancing, sculpting, designing. That is, do something that will make you look at the world with different eyes.
17. Go in for sports.
It is not necessary to go to a trendy sports club. Yoga, rock climbing, biking, horizontal bars, parallel bars, football, running, swimming, functional training are the best friends of a person who wants to restore tone to the body and get a surge of endorphins. And forget about what an elevator is - if you have to walk less than 10 floors, use your legs. In just 3 months of methodical work on yourself, you can change the body almost beyond recognition.
18. Get out of your comfort zone.
Go to places where you have never been, go to work by a different road, sort out a problem about which you know nothing at all, expand your knowledge and horizons. Rearrange the furniture at home (and do it about once a year), change your appearance, hairstyle, image. The more often you go beyond your usual “shell”, the better you will understand what is happening in the world.
19. Invest.
Ideally, every month it is worth investing part of your income, because a rich person is not someone who earns a lot, but someone who invests a lot. Try to invest in assets, minimize liabilities and control expenses. If you set yourself a financial goal and put your personal money in order, you will be surprised at how easily you will move towards achieving it.
20. Get rid of junk.
Throw away or give away anything you haven't worn or used in the last year (you won't be able to get it next year either). Leave only what you really like and need. When buying a new item, get rid of the old similar one so that the balance is maintained. Less stuff means less dust and headaches.
21. Give more than you take.
Share knowledge, experience and ideas. A person who not only takes, but also shares, is incredibly attractive. Surely you know something that others really want to learn. Coaching was a discovery for me at one time - I began to give trainings and lectures on a voluntary and free basis, which eventually grew into a rather large story that brings me great satisfaction.
22. Accept the world as it is.
Give up value judgments, accept all phenomena as initially neutral. And even better - as unambiguously positive.
23. Forget about what happened in the past.
It has nothing to do with your future. Take with you from there only experience, knowledge, good relations and positive impressions.
24. Don't be afraid.
There are no insurmountable obstacles, and all doubts live only in your head. You don't have to be a warrior, you just need to see the goal, avoid obstacles and know that you will achieve it without a single chance to experience failure.
25. The last, it is the first.
Do what you like. Learn. Learn. Develop. Change yourself from within.
This is by no means an exhaustive list. But even if you systematically do at least some of this, then after a year, looking at yourself in the mirror, you will not recognize yourself. And the world will simply have no choice but to follow your example and change in response!