Share Link:
There are legends about children's spontaneity. Our young offspring are able to make us blush with one question or make us think about the meaning of life. And it seems that a non-trivial view of things is inherent in all young children. They see our world in a completely different perspective, and we can only be surprised and even learn a little from our "flowers of life".
We at Milayaya.ru were inspired by the stories of the users of the “Children Speak” community, and if you also have something to say, add your stories in the comments.
***
Igor (4 years old):
- Mom, buy me a chocolate bar!
- The butt will stick.
- Mom ... I'll put it in my mouth. © Mary_Poppins
***
I'm taking a turtle in a trolleybus.
A girl of 5 years old is standing nearby and cannot take her eyes off. I say: - Do you want to hold?
- Yes!
- answers. He takes it and starts twirling it, then turns to me and asks:
“Where does the lid open here?” I want to pet her. © Mary_Poppins
***
6-year-old Petya really wanted a dog, and finally, for the New Year, he was presented with a huge St. Bernard.
The kid, in deep thought, walked around the huge dog and asked his parents: - Did they give him to me or me to him? © Irene
***
There is a dead cat on the side of the road.
3-year-old Vovochka asks his mother: - What happened to her?
- She died and went to heaven to God.
- And God, did you throw it back? © Mary_Poppins
***
The niece was told where babies come from.
Her dad comes from the watch, she runs towards and shouts: - Hurrah! Hooray! Dad has arrived! Bring the sperm! © ABVGD
***
Yulia was 6 years old, they wanted to send her to school, but they had to pass a test - a test for readiness for learning.
“Let's start with the simplest,” the psychologist said, and she laid out wax fruits from a vase on the table.
— Apple, pear, orange, apricot. How can all this be summed up in one word? Julia silently lowered her eyes.
- Let's continue.
Here is a cucumber, tomato, radish, potato, onion. How can we call it in one word? Julia bit her lip.
- Strawberries, raspberries, cherries ... What is it all called?
Do not you know? “I forgot,” whispered the test-taker, holding back her tears.
“I think it’s too early for you to go to school,” the psychologist said to Yulia’s mother.
- Wait a year, work with the girl. She doesn't know basic things! Mother looked into Yulia's face with surprise:
“Yulenka, don't you know how all this is called in one word?
- A! I remembered! the girl beamed. - Dummies! © lenoteni
***
The saleswoman, not paying attention to the rather young customer, without stopping, chats with her friend, discusses all the latest news with her, and quite by chance, not wanting it at all, pours not vegetable oil, but sour cream into the girl's jar.
The girl, not at a loss, says in a completely childish tone: - I told you, pour vegetable oil into a jar for me, and you ...
The saleswoman, suddenly switching to the girl and forgetting about her friend, blushing with anger, went to the warehouse, washed the jar and, nervously scooping up a ladle from a flask, with a trembling hand she poured vegetable oil into a clean container.
The girl silently took the jar and, putting her tiny hand into her bag, took out exactly the same clean glass liter jar and handed it to the saleswoman with the words: - And here - sour cream ... © Ekaterina
***
Day off.
I leave my room into the corridor, a cat rushes past me at full speed from the kitchen, followed by my son. The cat flies out into the hallway, fits into the turn, but its hind legs skid, the booty rides along the linoleum, corrects the roll, and runs away. My son runs past me screaming: “Stars on ice!!!
He falls to the floor, rides his butt on the linoleum, does not have time to slow down, flies under the hanger, all our jackets on the shoulders fall on him, and from there yells:
- Curtain !!! © Bun
***
I sit at the table drinking tea.
A 9-year-old son runs up and asks: - Mom!
What is safe sex? I choke on my tea, trying to clear my throat... My son is patiently waiting.
When he sees that I have regained the ability to speak, he modestly adds: - What is sex, I know ... © Desperate Housewife
***
My daughter (6 years old) is terribly lazy. I watered the flowers at home and splashed some water on the floor. I looked around to see if anyone saw me, didn’t notice me and very quickly wiped the floor with a cat that was sleeping next to a puddle. The cat didn’t even wake up, and for 10 minutes I couldn’t unbend from laughter. I wonder which of them is lazier: a daughter who is too lazy to go for a rag, or a cat who doesn’t even wake up in a puddle of water? © krisya
***
A great many small soft toys have accumulated in the house, but do not throw them away!
After thinking, I suggested hanging them on a wooden block nailed to the wall (before the carpet hung). Moreover, there were already rope loops on the heads of the toys. Let, I think, please the eye and enliven the interior! Having attached all this in the evening, when the daughter (5 years old) fell asleep, in the morning we wait with her husband for her reaction.
Liza wakes up, looks frowningly at the hung toys (hares, dogs, bear cubs) and says in a displeased voice: - Well, what kind of morning of the archery execution is this? © krisya
***
We're going in the car.
We jump on the bump. An indignant voice from the car seat: — Hey! Why are you driving like this? My finger is falling out of my nose! © Katya-Katerinka
***
We are going in a taxi: me, my sister and a small one.
My sister asks me for hygienic lipstick. I start rummaging in my purse, periodically offering something: a comb, mascara, toothpicks, an iodine pencil, telephone and apartment bills, cream, perfume, hairpins ... The little one leans over to his aunt and says quietly: - Another 5 minutes, and she's oil
there will find. © Bun
***
I am talking to my son (6 years old):
- Andrey, name the signs of autumn.
- Well, the birds fly away, the leaves from the trees fly around, tires need to be changed to winter ones ...
- And what about the signs of winter?
- It's snowing, but the tires don't need to be changed!
I'm hysterical.
- Well, what about in the spring?
- Birds are flying, leaves are blooming ... Tires need to be changed again !!! © gamma
***
Yesterday.
Son: - Mom, lie down with me, I'll tell you a fairy tale.
- Let's.
- Once upon a time there was a puppy.
And he was nobody. And he lived in a box, and ate in the garbage. And everyone passed by him. And he was beautiful, but no one needs. Then it started to rain. And they spotted him and took him away. Almost fell asleep.
Me (curiously):
- Why did you take it away?
Son sleepily:
- Well, the rain has passed ... It has become clean, beautiful.
Hmm, is there a moral?
Son grumblingly (do not let me sleep):
- Yes. You need to wash more often, and they will take you away! © Bun
***
Danila is 3.5 years old.
- Danya, who will you be at the matinee, a bunny?
- No.
- A gnome?
- No, I'll be a bee man! © Karina
***
Recently, my friend with her daughter (4 years old) went to the store for vodka.
My daughter's ear hurt, and it was necessary to make a compress. I wanted to take a small scale, but the store only had bottles of 0.75 liters. And here is a friend at the cash register: in one hand is a child, in the other a bottle. The cashier looks at the negligent mother with disapproval. The girl understood everything and said loudly in defense of her mother: - My mother does not drink, this is for me! © krisya
What did you find the most fun?
Preview photo credit